What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?

Love is Respect.org offers an online Healthy Relationships Quiz designed to help youth explore whether or not their relationship is safe and healthy. Youth answer 26 yes-no questions about their partners’ attitudes and behaviors. The quiz score is instantly interpreted on a page that includes links to a free online chat tool, toll-free hotline, and text message-based support.

Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, abusive behaviors, are at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.

If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:

Nora Rhoades
Family and Youth
Development Agent
  • Understand that a person can only change if they want to. You can’t force your partner to alter their behavior if they don’t believe they’re wrong.
  • Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.
  • Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Talk to your friends, family members, teachers and others to make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need.
  • Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship.
  • Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to have a safety plan. Love is Respect provides safety planning tips and a variety of other resources and tools to keep you safe and promote healthy relationships.

By:  Nora Rhoades