Tag: Positive Relationships

Enough with the Blame Game

We’ve all dealt with a friend, child, family member, or co-worker who has a behavior or attitude that drives you crazy. Sometimes these behaviors and attitudes break policy or laws while other times they just bring negativity into the environment. Simply ignoring these annoyances is not the answer, especially if they reoccur on a regular basis. Addressing differences can be stressful, yet not addressing them can result in unproductive work environments, strained relationships, and many bad moods.

How you address behaviors and attitudes that ‘push your buttons’ is very important in gaining the outcomes you desire. Blaming language brings out defense mechanisms, often steering the conversation away from the concern. Avoid using the word “you”. “You” statements accuse actions, ideas, and people to be in the wrong. Blaming language not only takes longer to reach a resolution, it rarely makes a relationship stronger through the process.

Instead, use “I” statements. “I” statements keep your responses focused on how the concern affects you. Meanwhile, the other party will feel invited to explain how they are affected by the concern. “I” statements seek to understand and respect both party’s opinions and experiences. These types of conversations may provide values clarification, likely pointing towards a compromise that will benefit everyone.

Communicate with “I” Statements

  • I feel: (label your feeling: betrayed, proud, anxious, vulnerable, etc…)
  • When: (give specific example)
  • Because: (briefly explain ‘why’)
  • What I want/need is: (describe what would make you feel better)

By:  Nora Rhoades

How to Support Youth after Traumatic Events

Nora Rhoades
Family and Youth
Development Agent

Children can face emotional strains after traumatic events, such as accidents, disasters, and witnessing and/or being victims of violence. Understanding how children and youth may react and caring for them in an age appropriate way are critical to their healing and future well-being, but it can be difficult to know what to do. Below are some resources you may find helpful as you support children and youth after traumatic events.

  • Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma: This factsheet discusses the nature of trauma, especially abuse or neglect, the effects of trauma on children and youth, and ways to help a child who has experienced trauma. Parents or foster parents who do not understand the effects of trauma may misinterpret their child’s behavior, and attempts to address troubling behavior may be ineffective or, in some cases, even harmful. By understanding trauma, parents and foster parents can help support a child’s healing, the parent-child relationship, and their family as a whole. (Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway)

Information for this article has been adapted from the National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families, Newsletter, Issue 57, October 2017.

By:  Nora Rhoades

Advance Health Care Directives – Plan to have Family Discussions over the Holidays

Some people prefer to keep their legal documents private and disclose little or no information regarding their personal decisions. With end-of-life issues, however, communication is key. Initiating a conversation with others about your end-of-life wishes can be unsettling, but having these conversations will ensure that future health care plans are made and that appropriate parties are aware of those plans.

As you prepare to gather with family and close friends over the holidays, consider incorporating a time to discuss your advance health care directives. The resource, Advance Health Care Planning in Kansas, will provide assistance as you outline your wishes and prepare for these sometimes difficult, yet very important discussions.

By:  Nora Rhoades

Brainy Babies – Fall Program Offerings

Brainy Babies in an interactive child + parent story hour for children birth through age 3. Through playful learning activities, each child and adult will grow and learn together. The interactive series encourages and stimulates learning while enhancing the relationship between adult and child. Brainy Babies programs are scheduled to take place at the public libraries in Kensington, Lincoln, and Sylvan Grove throughout the fall. The Post Rock District is also involved with the Sprouts 0-3 program at the Osborne library. For complete details about Brainy Babies visit:

http://www.postrock.k-state.edu/events/.

  • October 16 – 5:15-6:15pm – Kensington Community Library
  • October 18 & 25 – 5:30-6:15pm – Sylvan Grove Public Library
  • November 9 & 16 – 5:30-6:15pm – Lincoln Carnegie Library

By:  Nora Rhoades

Open a Good Book while Beating the Heat!

As you find yourself indoors during the hottest hours of a summer day, pick up a book and enjoy active reading! Reading with a child or friend will keep both of your minds exploring new things and enhance relationships. As you dig into reading, check out this K-State Research and Extension resource to help make sure your time is filled with quality learning experiences and lots of fun!

Emergent Literacy: Helping Young Children’s Development Through Readinghttps://www.bookstore.ksre.k-state.edu/pubs/MF3161.pdf

By:  Nora Rhoades

Thinking About a Child’s Thinking

Adults are commonly faced with the task of meeting a child’s needs (feeding, clothing, bathing, and other basic duties of raising children). Often one becomes consumed by these tasks and it becomes easy to forget that children are developing their own minds, ways of thinking and understanding of the world. The next time you engage with a child, encourage their development by trying to experience the world from his or her point-of-view…

  • Bend down to their height
  • Follow their lead
  • Use all 5 senses
  • Encourage curiosity and imagination
  • Model patience by not rushing while new information is processed

By:  Nora Rhoades

Elder Abuse and Neglect: What You Should Know

No one is immune to elder abuse, which is often a silent problem. Elder abuse can rob older adults of their dignity and security and leave them feeling fearful, depressed, and alone. The K-State Research and Extension resource, “Elder Abuse and Neglect: What You Should Know” outlines types of abuse, the signs to watch for, and includes resources for help.  To access the resource visit:

http://www.bookstore.ksre.ksu.edu/pubs/MF3343.pdf

By:  Nora Rhoades

Resources for Engaging the Young Child

Nora Rhoades
Family and Youth
Development Agent

The Week of the Young Child™, April 24-28, 2017, is an annual celebration hosted by the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). It focuses on celebrating early learning, young children, their teachers and families. The week provides an opportunity to share with your community the importance of early learning. Take some time to explore some excellent resources for families and educators working with young children. There’s so much children learn as they sing, cook together, build together, create art, and celebrate their families.

To access the NAEYC resources visit: http://www.naeyc.org/woyc/activity-resources 

Resource categories include:

  • Music Resources
  • Cooking and Nutrition Resources
  • Building Together
  • Open Ended Art
  • Engaging and Celebrating Families

By:  Nora Rhoades