Twas the night before grades, when all through K-State
Not a student was sleeping, all staying up late.
The homework was posted by the TAs with care
In hopes that the test grades soon would be there
The students were restless, all crammed into chairs,
While visions of “A”s danced in the air.
The faculty were poised with their answer keys ready,
And had just settled their red pens, thoughtful and steady.
When out on the oval there arose such a clatter,
The students sprang from their desks to see what was the matter.
“Eyes on your papers! Put away your iPhones”
“No tweeting of pictures of strange little gnomes.”
The sun glittering off Anderson’s copper roofs
Gave a luster of mid-day to students’ math proofs.
When what to my wondering eyes came these looks,
But a miniature scan-tron and eight tiny blue books.
With a merry professor, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, it made me quite sick.
More rapid than eagles, my nausea it came,
And reminded me of that final – I missed it, how lame.
Now Chemistry, now Calculus, now Ethics…how hard,
On Music, on MassComm, and Shakespeare, the Bard.
To the top of the Hale to the top of Burt Hall,
Now slash away, slash away, slash away all!
As dry prose that following the essay prompt drag,
When met with a wrong answer, red markers don’t brag.
I logged in to KSOL, checked on my scores,
And that little old prof had sent me new chores.
She left not a word, but went straight to the task,
And filled all the grades in, except mine – why, I asked?
And laying her cursor aside of my query,
“You missed my exam, of your focus, I’m leery.”
She sprang from her desktop, her blue books all a flurry,
With the grades all turned in, to warm climes, in a hurry.
But I heard her exclaim, riding to MHK,
“Extra credit for you, and it’s due in a day!”
Happy New Year, Faculty!